Last week I attended a couple end-of-school-year events. They were fairly typical, lasting about an hour and a half each. I was disappointed at the number of “smart phones” I saw in hands during the event. And before you say something about “these kids today” I am talking about the parents.

I saw one father dutifully saving the world by killing an attacking horde of zombies and two mothers in front of me scrolling through texts and doing some online shopping. I won’t bother to mention the school because I’m sure it goes on everywhere. In fairness, many parents had their phones out to take pictures. Mobile phones have almost replaced point-and-shoot cameras for this.

I recently saw a very ironic video on YouTube called “Look Up” by Gary Turk that talked about everything we miss when we spend all of our time on our phones or on “social media” that is really anything but social. We don’t interact with people around us or get out and live our lives because we are spending all of our time online.

A couple relevant quotes from the video:

“We are surrounded by children who, since they were born, have seen us living like robots and think it’s the norm.”

“You’re not likely to make world’s greatest dad, if you can’t entertain a child without an iPad.”

The video gets high marks from me for the Seussian rhyming, by the way.

The same day I saw the video, my smart phone locked up and I couldn’t use it for anything until the next morning when I took it to the store. The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on me. In fact, the brief break from my phone gave me some time to think. Watching those parents who were too preoccupied with their phones to dedicate an hour and a half to their kids drove the feeling home.

I won’t be giving up my smart phone or social media. Like them or not, they are part of our lives; they are how we stay in touch with friends and are tools to do business. I use both to promote my books and contact people for articles, for example.

Still, I am being much more intentional about how I use my phone, especially in front of my daughters. I want to set a good example for my children and I’m worried about what I might miss in my real life when I am being “social” with a machine..

Two weeks ago was the first anniversary of the death of a Nitro High School classmate, Teresa Holovic O’Conner, from cancer. Last week was the 25^th anniversary of the death of another high school classmate, Mike Burnsworth, from cancer.

They had different types of cancer, but in both cases their death’s ended lives much too short and left people behind wondering why and grieving. In Teresa’s case, she left behind a young daughter and husband.

Last weekend was the WV Komen Walk for the Cure in Charleston and this coming weekend is Mother’s Day. Wouldn’t it be fitting if everyone got their mother a mammogram for Mother’s Day? While not 100 percent, early detection is the best way to make sure more young daughters don’t lose their mothers before they grow up and have children of their own.

Over the last year, I sat with Jean Hanna Davis and produced a series of blogs/columns about breast cancer. Just a few weeks ago, we released the book Keep on, Keepin’ on in which Jean talks about her person struggles with the chemotherapy treatment being a cancer survivor. One thing she believes in strongly is early detection.

“I tell people to have their mammograms all the time. I show my scars. It infuriates me when women come up to me and say ‘My doctor wants me to have a mammogram, but I’m not going to because it hurts too much.’ I have raised my shirt and shown them my scars and said ‘Tell me how you think this feels. You can prevent this by having your mammograms. What do you think is going to happen if you don’t have it?” I have shocked people. I have had people not talk to me, but if you can’t do the minimum you should do to take care of yourself like have your mammogram, you are going to hear about it from me. That is as important as, if not more important than, getting up every morning and putting food on the table.”

So, let me say Happy Mother’s Day to all the women in my life. You all make a difference to me, whether you are my mom or my wife or simply a friend and an inspiration. I want to keep you all around for a long, long time. Please take the best care of yourself possible and get yourself checked. I don’t want to lose any of you.

Happy Mother’s Day!.

On May 13, a day short of two weeks from today, West Virginia will return to the voting booth to decide who will represent each party in the general election next November. Typically, the primary mid-term election has a low turnout as people aren’t interested and paying attention if the Office of the President of the United States isn’t on the ballot.

That’s a mistake.

This election cycle includes all three of West Virginia’s members of Congress along with one of the two Senate seats, a position being vacated by Jay Rockefeller. It was just last fall that everyone hated ever member of the Senate and House of Representatives because of the shutdown of the Federal Government and the budget brinkmanship.

On a local level, every member of the West Virginia House of Delegates is up for election. Half of the members of the West Virginia State Senate are up for election this year. Unhappy with the way the state government handled the West Virginia Water Crisis? How about the the subsequent legislation to protect our water supply that got bounced back and forth during the legislative session? Get out and vote.

I’ve heard it said a number of times, and said it myself a few more, that we should remove every incumbent from office. After a little more thoughtful reflection, I’m not sure I still believe that. However, I believe every incumbent has to prove to me why I should give them my support. And I don’t mean with simple platitudes like “More Jobs and Lower Taxes” or whatever. Of course, everyone wants those things. But most of us realize life isn’t quite that simple and you can’t sum life up in five words.

There is a saying that “Everyone hates Congress, but loves their Congressman.” I’m not sure I understand how that disconnect exists, but I know it does. When you’ve met someone, shaken a hand and looked a person in the eye, it makes a difference.

I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone how to vote, or even how I plan to vote, but I will say I plan to pay a lot closer attention to this election than I normally would have. I hope everyone takes these next two weeks to actually look into the people running and see what they stand for. Understand who they are and who supports them financially.

If you’re not sure where to find out the information you need, the Sunday Gazette-Mail always publishes a voter guide. You can also find out who your representatives are on the West Virginia Secretary of State’s Election Division website.

Whatever you do, get out and vote. Let your voice be heard. If you don’t like the way things are going, do your part to change it..

Trudging around my yard a few days ago, pushing a heavy, noisy machine back and forth (and back and forth) for the first time in 2014, I couldn’t help thinking to myself how glad I was winter is finally over…not that it isn’t holding on for dear life mind you. Spring Break in the mountains of West Virginia with my family included sideways snow.

This, of course, isn’t the first time winter has held on so long. I remember one Spring at Marshall (in the late 80s) where we were playing in the sun at Ritter Park on Sunday and then got several inches of snow on Tuesday. I was sunburned and shivering as I walked to class.

Still, the trees are budding, the grass is growing (if unevenly) and birds are chasing each other through the trees. My snow shovel is still out next to the front steps and I think I can realistically put it back in the garage now.

Some people are fanatical about their yards; applying fertilizers and mowing, pruning, blowing and trimming daily. That’s great if that’s what you’re into. It’s just not me. I’m sure I’m a disappointment to a couple of my neighbors. They seem to tolerate me though, only looking at me with pity when they think my back is turned.

Mowing the grass is a sort of meditation for me. I can zone out and spend an hour or so outside. My phone stays in the house and I don’t worry about calls or emails. Those times are increasingly rare so I take advantage of them whenever I can. All too soon, everyone will be complaining about the heat and the humidity and staying inside in the air conditioning. Not me. As a writer, I spend too much time connected to my computer writing about life (it begins to feel like I’m jacked directly into it) and not enough time out actually experiencing it.

If I can’t get outside and get some action, I think I’ll start up my lawnmower and get some “quiet time”. Maybe my neighbors who spend all their time working on their yards know something I don’t….

A few days ago, returning from a business trip, I was standing in Yeager Airport waiting for my bag to surface from deep below. Not far away, a group of men stood talking. While fiddling with his laptop, one younger man said loudly “Does West Virginia have internet?” When an older member of the group said something to him, the first replied “Doesn’t matter. When I’m enunciating, they can’t understand me.”

Before moving home to West Virginia a few years ago, I lived in Durham, North Carolina for nearly 12 years. When I first moved there, it was an unwritten rule that you didn’t go downtown. They had a serious gang problem. By the time I left, downtown Durham was one of the coolest places I had ever been. There were bars, breweries, restaurants and live music everywhere.

I often write often about the positives I see in West Virginia, be it the history, the cultural legacy or the opportunity for a natural quality of life. I’m not going through life with blinders on, though. There are things here that drive me straight up the wall. Having lived in a couple other states and traveled to many more of them, I will tell you that every place has its problems and drawbacks. What it takes is the people coming together and agreeing to not put up with those problems any more. And then change comes, just like it did in Durham.

Just after the water crisis in January, a columnist wrote how West Virginians are like kidnap victims who begin to identify with their captors; they begin to think they deserve whatever treatment they get. I certainly don’t think West Virginia deserves to be treated as second class by anyone. I do think we need to do a better job of living up to our own potential. Just like Durham did.

I didn’t say anything to the guy in the airport. In some ways I regret that, but I’m confident nothing I said would have changed his mind. That’s the problem with stereotypes; they aren’t based in reality. Facts and logic don’t do much to undo them. There is a saying that “Living well is the best revenge.” It means the best way to get the better of someone who hurt you is to live like they didn’t hurt you at all. It is time we began living well. And when that happens, people from outside the state won’t even consider rehashing those tired, old stereotypes.

I wonder if the guy in the airport would be impressed to know that I typed the first draft of this column on my web-enabled smart phone?.