My younger daughter just finished making Valentine’s Day cards for her classmates at Weberwood Elementary. She diligently assembled the pieces, addressed the envelopes and checked off the list of the kids in her class—more girls than boys in this case.
I remember doing the same thing as a young boy at Cross Lanes Elementary. I probably wasn’t as diligent about it and I’m sure I wasn’t as neat. There’s no doubt in my mind that my mom had to make me sit down and do it; probably the night before the school party. I also remember not wanting to give a card to one of the girls in my class. I’m fairly certain I ended up making a Valentine’s Day card for her, but I probably had to be made to do that, too.
When I was at Marshall writing for The Parthenon, I wrote a fairly cynical column about Valentine’s Day in which I suggested it was a manufactured holiday created by the card and flower stores to drum up business. I also wrote some about the history of the day, noting that the saint the holiday is named for was killed. (It’s highly probable I wasn’t dating anyone at the time.) Historically, three Saint Valentines are recognized on February 14. All three were martyred. One Saint Valentine was killed because he performed wedding ceremonies for soldiers who were forbidden to marry.
The author C.S. Lewis described four types of love in the book The Four Loves: Storge is fondness through familiarity or family. Philia is the love between friends with a common bond…and also the root of the name Philadelphia (and why the city is called the City of Brotherly Love). Eros is love in the sense of “being in love” or loving someone. Agape is unconditional love, often referred to as Godly love.
Now that life has brought me full circle and I’m watching my daughters do things my parents had to make me do more than 30 years ago, I’m happy my daughter never hesitated to make a card for anyone in her class—not even any of the boys. In fact, the idea never occurred to her. I don’t get the feeling she did it out of sense of obligation, either. She wanted to do it and enjoyed the process.
In spite of everything going on around us – from war to anger to violence – and all the conflicting messages bombarding children today, maybe they are learning to love others simply for the sake of brotherly love. Music, movies and television try to tell us that Eros love is the ultimate goal. It seems like Philia love is what we need most today. Maybe the lesson is coming through.
Happy Valentine’s Day!.